I'd be glad to hear any inputs or notes you have on the first pages of the story. I'm sure I'll learn a great deal from them. You can send them at johnnestuser@gmail.com
I will never be offended if its constructive criticism. Also, this is my first time writing a story and there are so many things that I still need to learn.
Ok. I replied to your previous mails (as I got a mailer error daemon on the gmail email).
I really REALLY hope those edits help you as a small guide.
Griffin