Jawz Anecdotes

No problem and don't apologise. You know the story better than anyone so trivial things(as in what everyone should know) might escape your consideration when you're planning bigger, more fun things. Remember that writing is a learning experience. That's why I read.

Ah, title for the subject: Feedback.

Now, here's something you can use: One of his brothers needs money for something, pesters him. He says no, but relents on a cheaper thing and then says that the budget is tight, then he lists the things he has to spend money on (bills) and food.
State the money he gets minimum a month from the job. (Introduce his notebook for family accounting)
He then thinks of the game marketplace, the money he made, expects to make a day (1k$ a day from the mantis blades. PLS VR COME TO ME COME TO ME MY SWEET VR), looks at similar items, lists the prices, checks requirements(this part doesn't need to actually list more than a few) to get us familiar with the average drops and prices. Then look at a few rare things, where he sees something too good to be true. Looks for ability tomes, in order not to get you too swamped, you could say that there are too many for him to look through for now, he thinks he'll just get them when he needs and still has... The G mans stash.

Speaking of G mans stash. Darius would be training him, or giving him some like that, no? Maybe give him a few lessons when Smoke gets horribly beat at something for being too cocky. Teaches him to be more creative with the skills he has etc.

This is actually harder to think about than the bigger things. No wonder directors have continuity problems.

Edit: Too many commas, not enough chapters.